


Blind Date

by Styfas



Category: Victor Victoria (1982)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Gen, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:13:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Styfas/pseuds/Styfas
Summary: After Squash Bernstein comes out to King Marchand, King sets him up on a date with another guy.  What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Victoria Grant/King Marchand
Kudos: 4





	Blind Date

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt that [bookstorequeer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookstorequeer) gave me years ago on another forum. Prompt: _Squash Bernstein (King Marchand’s bodyguard) comes out to him, so Marchand sets him up on a date. If it goes badly, well, twisted, or funny, it’s up to you!_
> 
> So, I skipped all the backstory about Squash coming out to him, and took it from the aftermath of the set up date. Sort of.

****  
****

King Marchand heard the slam of his apartment door and then a series of grumbled expletives.

“Squash? You’re home early!” King hastily donned a robe and exited the bedroom, leaving Victoria Grant behind in the bed. When he entered the living room, he saw that his bodyguard was shaking his head and pacing back and forth.

“What happened?” King asked. “Your date didn’t work out? I thought for sure –"

“Yeah, Boss, I know you thought - but you thought the wrong thing.”

“I – I’m sorry. I was just trying to help you out - I really thought you’d like Patrick. He seemed like a really nice, funny guy when I met him last week at _Chez Lui_. And very handsome, too. Come on, Squash, isn’t he the most handsome guy you’ve ever met?”

“Handsome? In a matter of speaking. But he sure wasn’t my type.”

“Well, there’s always a risk that blind dates won’t go well. I'm sorry it didn’t work out for you. I hope you’ll let me try again?”

“Blind. Yeah, that about sums it up. I know you saw right through the whole Count Victor Grazinski thing with Victoria from the start, but you sure were blind when you met this ‘Patrick Pendleton.’”

“What do you mean?”

“Patrick is really _Patricia!_ And I didn’t realize it until we got to the hotel bedroom. When he – I mean _she_ \- opened her shirt… Hell, I’ve never been so embarrassed – and turned off – in my life! I was out of that room in five seconds flat.”

“Squash, I’m so sorry.”

“The worst thing was that I could hear her laughing at me, even after I had closed the door and started down the hallway.”

As if on cue, both men heard a musical mezzo laugh coming from King’s bedroom. Seconds later Victoria emerged, clothed in a blue satin robe.

“I’m sorry for laughing, Mr. Bernstein,” Victoria said, “but I want you to know that I wasn’t laughing at _you_ just now.”

“But it’s okay if you are,” Squash said, hanging his head, “because it was pretty stupid of me not to notice.”

“No, it wasn’t," Victoria said. "But _you_ , King? How absurd of you to not notice the obvious! Especially when you consider the circumstances regarding you and me. You should be ashamed of yourself, humiliating poor Mr. Bernstein like that!”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to humiliate him! It's not like I did it on purpose! _I didn’t know!_ ”

“Apology accepted,” Squash said. “You two look like you expected me to be away for a while, so I’ll just be off to _Chez Lui_ now – where I’m sure I can find a _real_ man.”

“But –"

“You tried, Boss. Thanks, but I’ll be doing my own looking from now on. See you both later.” Squash smiled his thanks at Victoria, shook his head with a wry chuckle as he looked at King, and left the apartment.

“Well. And that’s the thanks I get for trying to _help_ the man.”

“Oh, he’ll be fine,” Victoria said. “Put it out of your mind. It’s over.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“But… what was that I heard you say about Patrick Pendleton before?" she asked with a coy smile.

“What I said about… _what?_ What did I say?”

“That Patrick Pendleton was the most handsome guy you’ve ever met?”

King laughed. “If you were truly listening, you would have noticed that I merely said he was handsome. I asked Squash to confirm that Patrick was the most handsome guy that _he_ had ever met.”

“Ah,” Victoria said with a nod as she slipped the belt open to King’s robe. “Now I understand.”

King opened Victoria’s robe in kind. “Rest assured, dear Victoria, that you are still – and will always be - the most handsome man that _I’ve_ ever met.” He slid the robe from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

And with that, King swept the giggling Victoria up into his arms and carried her back into the bedroom to resume their evening activities.

****  
**  
**


End file.
